


If You're Scared, You're Doing It Right

by kyo_chan



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Also feelings, BDSM, Hartwin, Kink, M/M, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-04 00:55:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5313944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyo_chan/pseuds/kyo_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry loves trying new things with Eggsy; his boy is as adventurous in the bedroom as he is everywhere else. But as much as Harry wants to take him over his knee, he's afraid to scare up ghosts of Eggsy's former life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You're Scared, You're Doing It Right

**Author's Note:**

> A prompt sent to my blog - "Hartwin - Harry spanking (not play but real scene) and soothing Eggsy." I was overcome by how much feeling there was to be had behind this. Hope you enjoy!

Harry was pacing when Eggsy came to the sitting room. Not the kind of lazy gait around the room to pass the time; an honest to God back and forth motion in front of the fireplace intent enough to wear down the threads of the throw rug if he kept at it long enough. He hadn’t even noticed the other’s arrival, wrapped up in his own head as he was, hands clasped so tightly behind his back, his knuckles had gone pale. The lights were dimmed, most of the glow coming from the fire crackling unobtrusively in the hearth, shadows cast across Harry’s features. His chest was tight, and he wondered if he should even attempt this at all. It wasn’t too late to change his mind. They certainly had plenty of other things they could do instead, like–

“Harry?”

Halting step, turn of the head, and without further provocation than merely seeing Eggsy there in the doorway, Harry smiled. It crinkled the corners of his eyes, softened the scarring on the left side. He untangled his fingers with only a little difficulty.

“There you are, my boy. Come in.”

Eggsy had clearly suspected they were going to play tonight. He’d chosen to change from his suit into a pair of comfortable track pants, no shirt. Harry always caught a thrill down his spine when he saw Eggsy’s collar around his neck, hand picked together many months ago. Eggsy padded in on bare feet, fond smile matching Harry’s for sincerity, but his brows were knotted together. There must have still been something in Harry’s posture, or perhaps his face. The young man was too damn perceptive, it was too late to cover up his nerves, any way to pass it off would be a flimsy, failed attempt.

There was still time to change his mind, the little voice in the back of Harry’s mind tried to remind him as Eggsy approached. So many other choices to pass the evening, it didn’t have to be tonight, it didn’t have to be ever.  _That’s unfair_ , another part of him spoke up, and Harry liked this voice a little better. At least it was honest. How would they ever know until they tried?

When Eggsy was in range, Harry reached out and slid his hand to the back of his neck, pulling him closer that way. A breathy sigh left Eggsy’s lips, content and very well used to the reassuring feel of Harry’s strength at his nape. He bowed his head, tucking it into the crook of Harry’s shoulder while he pressed a kiss to his hair. Harry breathed in, filling his lungs with Eggsy’s clean scent, and just that one breath made him feel cleaner than anything else in the world could. It was a bone deep reassurance this boy was meant to be his. Another breath. He had to be ready to follow through, just like with everything. He would never give Eggsy half of himself, half of what he deserved.

“You do still recall your safe word, don’t you?”

A stutter of excited breath puffed against expensive silk, the warmth of it seeping through to Harry’s chest. “Yes, Harry. Are we doing something new tonight?”

“We are.”

For a moment, he didn’t elaborate. Instead, he pulled back just enough to move to his chair, sinking into it. Eggsy moved to get to his knees, but Harry held up his hand, stopping him. Bright eyes were curious as Harry adjusted his own posture, got comfortable, knees together while unbuttoned his cuffs and deliberately rolled up his sleeves to the elbow. He could hear Eggsy’s breath shift, anticipation starting to fill the air like the roll of heat from the fireplace.

In preparation for this, Harry had considered many different ways to go about it. Everything from location to bondage, to whether he’d blindfold Eggsy or allow him to see, what he’d say and how he’d say it. He had bordered on overthinking so many times, he wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d actually crossed it. If someone else hadn’t fucked up with such a precious boy, he wouldn’t have to be so careful now. But then again, those broken pieces were just as important to the person Eggsy was now as anything else that would have been more pure or perfect. He couldn’t be perfect, neither of them were perfect, and God only knew their broken pieces had a certain sort of symmetry to them. They settled into one another, never an exact fit, but well enough to make it work.

“Come now, lay down over my lap,” he murmured, pulling his nerves and the scene together before he completely lost the resolve.

Obediently, Eggsy moved to do as he was told, and Harry adjusted the spread of his knees to accommodate his lover’s torso to help him balance. Eggsy’s breath changed its cadence; he was a smart boy, he could already guess where this could lead. Harry’s thoughts were like a floodgate from his nerves,  _stop now_ ,  _start now_ ,  _do something_ ,  _don’t do this_. At the very least, Eggsy couldn’t see his face so he had something to be thankful for. He let one hand rest at the small of Eggsy’s back, and the other hovered as if waiting for a cue only he himself could give.

“Are you settled, boy.”

“Yes, Sir.” With that, they knew, the game had begun.

Harry forced himself to focus and flipped the mental switch. He let his waiting palm come to rest at his lover’s nape and hooked the fingers of his other hand into the waistband of the track pants, tugging them down to mid thigh. Eggsy needed no encouragement or direction to shift and wiggle his hips so Harry could accomplish the task, baring himself for the older man with only a touch of hesitation. Oh yes, it was unmistakable he suspected Harry’s intentions now. His hand came to rest on smooth skin, and he couldn’t help the glow of pride. This supple, handsome boy was his and trusted him not only with his life, but other things a man like Harry probably had no business having. He owed Eggsy everything, including an explanation.

“This is not a punishment, Eggsy,” he said firmly, surprised at just how confident he sounded. He palmed first one cheek, then the other, went back for a squeeze of the fingers to both sides. Eggsy groaned and his back arched ever so slightly. Starting with something familiar was best, and Harry was ever guilty of getting his boy’s rear in his hands as often as possible. “This is appreciation.”  _Oh God, please_. His hand came down in a firm slap against skin that rattled a gasp out of Eggsy’s throat and had him going perfectly still.  _Keep going_. Another smack, a flinch against his legs. “This is release.” Again.  _Again_. “Should you need to stop me, you know how. Tell me you know how.”

He landed two more steady blows before Eggsy finally managed, “I know how, Sir.” His voice was wet, his spine taut, hands clenched into fists.

Harry paused for a break, stroking his fingers over Eggsy’s reddened skin, listening and watching. The boy shivered, shoulders sagging a little in the brief respite. His entire body language changed with those gentle caresses, cautious at first, but then he shifted into it. The movement brought the growing hardness against Harry’s leg to his attention, and he could breathe in a moment of relief. The sound of impending tears in Eggsy’s voice had him wondering how quickly this would all come to a screeching halt. He did so fear raising a hand to Eggsy, this had been such a risk to take. It could still go wrong, it could–

“I’m starting again.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Harry continued on in the same manner, continuous, deliberate strikes to redden Eggsy’s skin from hip to thigh, careful. So very careful not to tread beyond those boundaries he’d set for himself, so rigid with control, he barely varied the force with which hand came down. He could do nothing for the way Eggsy continuously jerked, making himself trust that if it became too much, his boy still had the means to stop it. That trust was all that kept him from breaking apart, holding back. He counted up to five, paused to stroke and reassure, then went back to work. Eggsy trembled against him, squirmed, started to make noise in earnest. Harry saw a trickle of white make its way down the pinstripe of his pants and hope bloomed in his heart.

The sound of a sob forcing its way past Eggsy’s lips stifled that hope as quickly as it appeared. It took all of his considerable focus to bring his hand down again, and another sob tried to wrap itself around a word.

“D-Dais–” Eggsy shook his head, cutting himself off when Harry landed another smack.

“Do you have something to say, boy?” God, how it stung to keep his voice commanding, but Eggsy was counting on him to be in control.  ** _Smack_**.

“N-No, Sir.”

 _Please don’t be lying to me_. “Good boy. Just a few more, and we’re done.”

“I want them.”

So, Harry gave them, as solidly and resolutely as all that had fallen before them. When he was done, Eggsy sagged over his legs, panting heavily, and Harry tried not to do the same against the back of the chair. It was over. Eggsy lifted a hand to cover his mouth, but it did little to stop his staggered breath, the sounds tumbling out behind it. Tears ran down his flushed face, sweat making a light sheen in the golden glow of the fireplace. Harry was quick to gather Eggsy up, taking care not to jostle him too much as he settled the boy in his lap, cradling him as if he could protect him from anything in the world. It was difficult not to think perhaps the one he should be protecting him from just now is himself. He hadn’t meant to push too far, but maybe– He tucked Eggsy’s face into the crook of his neck, knowing he took comfort in that, the smell of his aftershave and the heat of his skin, pulse close to his lips. He rested his cheek against Eggsy’s hair, he was ashamed of his own desires, fearful of his regret.

“Eggsy, I–”

“You’re not like him,” Eggsy managed to say before Harry could utter the apology searing the tip of his tongue. The blond shifted out from under Harry’s chin so he could look the older Kingsman straight in the eye. His own were red-rimmed, full of emotion, but not a single one of those was identifiable as hatred or disgust as Harry might have feared. “Y’hear me, ‘Arry? You’re not like ‘im, an’ y’never will be.”

Harry’s mouth went slack, and it took a moment to get his bearings back. “Were you scared?”

Eggsy considered that for a moment. “Not of you. Scared o’me. Scared t’think I could like bein’ hit. One thing to get knocked about in a fight ‘n all, but when you started doin’ that, I was scared of likin’ it. I almost…you know, it almost came out of me.”

His safe word. Harry hadn’t misheard it, and he frowned.

“But y’wouldn’t ‘ave done this if there weren’t somethin’ t’get out of it. Y’liked bringin’ me to cryin’ for ya, yeah?” A guilty but honest nod. Eggsy smiled, and that was worth everything. “‘s good. We’ll do that again. If y’want.” He reached up and rubbed his palm over his face, wiping away the tears before he leaned in to steal a kiss. He seemed to forgive Harry for the momentary loss of power in the scene. Nothing was really conventional between them, and this was too important not to address.

“Of course,” Harry replied, expression soft. Ultimately, he had needed to know doing this wouldn’t put him on the same level as the one who had truly harmed Eggsy. Rationally, he knew he wasn’t, but so much could have gone wrong, it would have been foolish not to consider the possibility. “Thank you.”

Eggsy shrugged it off. “We’re good, Sir.”

He verbally handed Harry his power back, and the man treasured the simple gesture. This boy was a gift. A sharp-tongued, mischievous gift, and it was time to show him a proper reward.

“Down on your knees, boy. We’ve only just started.”


End file.
